What do you know?

“What do you know?”
someone said that to me some time ago and though she was only joking (I think) I felt like there really was a bit of depth to her words. “What do you know?” this sentence momentarily made me feel stupid and for a moment I just paused and asked myself “what do I know?” I don’t remember why she asked me that question but the important thing is how she made me feel when she asked me this. On a normal day I already look at myself like someone who isn’t near perfect but having this thought already nagging at you in your head and having them admitted to you by someone else even if it was only a joke are two very different things.

Sometimes we don’t realize the power in our words. My mom says that the worst kind of murder is the kind which is done by the mouth. Basically it means that you can kill a person with your words and the worst kind of death is the one that kills you slowly while you are trapped inside your own wicked thoughts. When someone says something to you, joke or not, the fact that it has been said shows that those thoughts must have been somewhere in that persons subconscious. When she said this to me I felt like it had just been confirmed that I was thought of as someone who knew nothing and it got to me. Though I don’t feel as bad when I think about it now, the feeling I had when she said that still hangs above me like a rain cloud. I haven’t learned any such important life lesson from this, yet. What I do know is that people can say things to you in jest that will make you feel like an outsider. And when this happens it helps a little to just let it out.

-TEENAGE OUTSIDER

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